March 22, 2016

Dating? Beware of the Flirting Man with The "Ringless" Finger!- 3 Quick and Easy Tell-Tell Signs He's Married

Remember the days when it was easy to tell if a man was married or in a committed relationship, even if he was not wearing a ring? hint..the tanned line on his finger...remember? Sadly that's not the tell-tell sign anymore.Today there is a trend that can possibly throw you off your "A' game. And if you think it couldn't happen to you, think again may find yourself fallen prey. I recently came up close and personal with this very thing and I gotta tell you I thought I had seen it all. Apparently not, which is why I had to warn you.    Read On

 Tell-Tell Sign #1- Endless Compliments and Attentiveness (this is where it all starts)

What woman doesn't like compliments?

It's nice to know you are attractive in the eyes of men. I even think it's cool when a man is confident enough to tell you "you look nice" harm done. Truth be told- no matter how intact your self-esteem might be, if you were to never, ever experience these acknowledgements your confidence levels would drop over time. And yes, it has to come from a man. That's why it's important to have the right male influence in your life. Mom or all the women you know can tell you all day long "you look amazing" theirs is only a contribution. But, hearing it from the opposite sex (be it brother, father, family or friend) is totally different and there is nothing wrong with that- it's all part of God's divine design for your life.

But, for the sake of this topic, here's where we run in to some grey areas... so listen close...

When you start receiving too many compliments from one person, you may want to tune in and pay attention. You see, verbal compliments given here and there, no problem it's when those compliments turn in to a reoccurring, "every time you see him" opportunity, this is where the problem begins. Typically, you would perceive this to be a good thing, right? So, you smile and feed from his compliments. Overtime you become drawn to his seemingly harmless expressions of interest. Then you began to look at him in a different way, someone you would consider going out on a date with or could he be "the one". No problem there, that is all very normal... you are responding just the way you are suppose to. After all, he seems very interested in you...which leads me to tell-tell sign #2

Tell-Tell Sign #2-No "Next Step" 

Trust your inner "knowing"...

Because of the level of interest this man contunues to show and you responding with interest also. This would be the perfect time for him to ask you out on a date to get to know you better, right?  But, it  never happens. There, lies another red flag. You know something is wrong, you can feel it but you can't put your finger on it. It's been 3, 6 months and things haven't changed. He still giving you those compliments, you're accepting in hopes he will take action to want to move closer. You start thinking "Why hasn't he asked me out?" "I don't see a ring so he's not married what's the problem?"  On the other hand you might be thinking, ", maybe he's shy, I'll give him some more time" More time  passes and you think you should stop waiting and ask him out instead.

Here's the thing- this situation has now got you emotionally "bent out of shape" And as horrible as that may feel,  it's really a good thing.This is the perfect time to trust your "inner knowing" and get off of this emotional roller coaster.   

Tell-Tell Sign #3- No Plans to Change 

It's time to move on. Better yet...Run!

Honestly he's happy with the way things are. Have you ever heard the saying, "having your Ice Cream & Cake Too"? This is a prime example. You see, he can't move forward with you because he's already in a committed relationship. Compliments, smiles and distant admiration is all he can offer. In fact, long term, he could go months if not years with this same arraignment... husband and family man at home with you on the side. No matter how you slice it, it's still cheating.   

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? How did it make you feel? I'd love to hear from you - Leave comments and share your story   
And when you're ready to fast forward your love life, I can help you make that happen...let's talk

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